Luke started ABA a few weeks ago. His main therapist, Nolan, said he’s never had a kid with as strong of a skill set as Luke. And he’s breezed through the few weeks of sessions with ease. He gets annoyed but he complies, he is challenged so of course Mr. Stubborn must finish. Now they’re focusing on expressive. He’s been making more sounds, we already notice a change. He’s TRYING to talk more, which is amazing. I’m anxious to see where he is in a few months. He said “car” on his own in a sweet Boston accent. We are no longer taking him to OT. I’m sad about that, even though it was a huge pain in the ass logistically, and he really didn’t need it weekly anymore, the OT Carrie was the one that we started with when we were trying to get the right diagnosis. She really took him a long way and he likes her. So we are going to try to fit in a session every so often.

Preschool starts on Monday. We had his IEP, took him to the classroom, had him meet his teacher and speech therapist….Everything is great, really, he’s in a Structured Education Program so other kids with ASD, some verbal, some non verbal. But it’s school. He is starting school. I know it will be good for him but UGH.

He’s doing great with potty training. Still needs help with #2 but all good otherwise.

Halloween is coming up and I thought I’d get the least intrusive costumes, so Luke is supposed to be a hot dog and little sis a ketchup packet. He runs in terror when he sees the costume so I think I’ll have to change it to something where he doesn’t know he’s wearing a costume. Another reminder of having a kiddo like Luke and what they miss out on. He should be excited and looking forward to it, but is scared and wants to stay home. It’s so unfair. So much of his childhood so far has been so tough for him.

Little sis is saying about 20 words now. We should be happy but it’s more of a guilty feeling. Guilty for feeling happy. Sigh of relief and then guilt about being relieved rather than being happy. Guilty for being thankful that she’s not struggling like Luke.

I hate autism or whatever the hell he has.